My wife and I just finished putting the kids to bed and were taking the dog out. Taking the dog out is our Monday Night tradition as it gives us a break from all the awkward pauses on the ManningCast. I’m about 40 feet out the door while my wife is setting up the baby monitor for a walk down the driveway when I see something.
It’s between the neighbors’ cars. Dark, it looks like a boulder. Not a boulder, though. It’s a rotund fuzzy friend pilfering through the contents of a 90-gallon trash can. He’s eating like he hasn’t tasted pay dirt in three weeks. Residents of the Midwest or the Northeast know what I’m looking at here. This one is known to take advantage of weakly defended garbage.
Our visitor turns to look at me. I whisper loudly to my wife: “Get in the house! D’Andre Swift is in the neighbor’s driveway!”
My wife and I just finished putting the kids to bed and were taking the dog out. Taking the dog out is our Monday Night tradition as it gives us a break from all the awkward pauses on the ManningCast. I’m about 40 feet out the door while my wife is setting up the baby monitor for a walk down the driveway when I see something.
It’s between the neighbors’ cars. Dark, it looks like a boulder. Not a boulder, though. It’s a rotund fuzzy friend pilfering through the contents of a 90-gallon trash can. He’s eating like he hasn’t tasted pay dirt in three weeks. Residents of the Midwest or the Northeast know what I’m looking at here. This one is known to take advantage of weakly defended garbage.
Our visitor turns to look at me. I whisper loudly to my wife: “Get in the house! D’Andre Swift is in the neighbor’s driveway!”
Nico Collins with the second 0.30 FGW game from a WR this season (Ja’Marr Chase also hit 0.30). No fantasy WR has scored over 30 points while in >26% of fantasy managers’ lineups yet this season.
We should have known Jordan Mason was good. That, my friends, is a great football name, especially for a running back. Two first names evoke an image of Michael Jordan working as a stone mason; it sounds like a name they’d give a character in Friday Night Lights. There was no way Isaac Guerendo was beating him out.
This was one of these weeks where we were happy to see two Monday Night games. Much more fun watching Kenneth Walker duel with Jahmyr Gibbs and Amon-Ra St. Brown than Mason Rudolph vs. Tyler Huntley. Also, if Mike McDaniel has a rule where he can only cut his hair after a win, things are about to get pretty shaggy around here.
Jayden Reed: 55% started. That will probably pick up here as he has double the receiving yards of any other Packers receiver thus far. Not saying he will stay the No. 1 WR for Green Bay, just that his percentage started will go up in fantasy start sit decisions this week.
I can’t stop watching the Tyreek Tirade. Something about how he’s not yelling at anyone in particular (and thus is yelling at Mike McDaniel) paired with McDaniel’s expression is the perfect antidote to what Jets fans like myself experienced on Sunday.
Mark Andrews is still at 72% started despite doing absolutely nothing for fantasy managers again. It wouldn’t shock me if that meant 72% of Mark Andrews fantasy managers decided to retire from fantasy football and just left him in their starting lineup.
The abject horror of this list has me legitimately shaken up. I don’t understand how we can have this many good football players performing this badly. More on that later in the article.
I have a feeling this won’t be the last time a Packers receiver leads the junior varsity All-Stars. Jayden Reed may not lead it again, but Dontayvion Wicks, Romeo Doubs and Christian Watson all have it in them to go nuts on the week nobody starts them.
Speaking of cheese packers, hopefully, all the Andrews and Pitts managers start boiling their lineups in anticipation of mixing in some Tucker Kraft.
I had no idea McWeapon (Jeremy McNichols) was still around. Snoop must be proud.
Jayden Reed with the double-duty this week, cracking the top 15 for winners and junior varsity All-Stars. Was a busy weekend for Reed riding all these school buses. We’ll see if the field trip to SoFi Stadium leads to more success or a student loan offer.
Keep That Bear Box Locked
There’s a saying for those who live around bears:
If it’s brown, lie down. If it’s black, fight back. If it’s white, say good night. If it’s dark blue, tell them I’ll start you. Not many people know this, but the white has nothing to do with polar bears, it’s for when the Bears are on the road in 2024.
Hopefully, you’ve been able to bear 2024 to this point. By my math, only 27 non-kicker/non-D/ST fantasy players have outperformed their draft position. Either way, good luck in Week 5. Even if your team plays dead, it’ll be fun to watch Vikings invade England again.
