The Grati-Toad from the Netflix show Big Mouth is one of the best cartoon characters ever created. Voiced by the bubbly and charming Zach Galifianakis, the Grati-Toad is one of the inner monsters of the show’s adolescent character who are battling through puberty and modern teenage issues. He reminds everyone to list things they are grateful for in order to ward off Tito the Anxiety Mosquito and his panic-inducing hypothetical stressors.
Having seen every episode of Big Mouth many times through, I often remember the travails of Grati-Toad. He is a southern gentleman who is mind-numbingly positive and upbeat, with a refined charm and wit from a second-person perspective. Nick Kroll is a master of character development and this is some of his finest work. Listing all the positive things going on in my life in a moment of stress is incredibly helpful. I found it remarkably easy to do and paid immediate dividends. Turns out, saying positive things out loud feels good.
Thanksgiving is a day of reflection. Yes, we all have something to be thankful for. It could be as simple as appreciating the chance to wake up on the right side of the dirt again. Family situations can be touchy this time of year, but gathering with my “small doses” gaggle of silly geese brings forth more than enough nostalgia and catching up with the scuttlebutt.
We don’t always have something nice to say on Thanksgiving. My dad’s trick was to fill his mouth with food so he could air his grievances through unintelligible mumbling but obnoxiously clear facial expressions. Those were the days I remember fondly because Grandma made the turkey gravy from the pan drippings and every other family member used the store-bought canned stuff when they hosted. I am grateful that she taught me so many important lessons in the kitchen.
Week 12 kicks off with the time-honored Turkey Day Triple-Header. All three games are intra-divisional rivalry games with big fantasy implications. My favorite day of the year is football slathered in rich gravy and it’s beautiful. Here’s the scoop.
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Motor City Packer Whackin’
The Green Bay Packers won in Week 11 to improve to 4-6 on the season. They are still one of the most disappointing teams of 2023 compared to projections. The Lions came into 2023 with unusually lofty and previously foreign expectations…and have exceeded them. Jared Goff is having a great season and Detroit’s whole roster is among the best in the league. On the other hand, Packers GM Brian Gutekunst has put together a master class in how to make a team worse as the years go on.
Being that this is still a divisional game, the early game will stay interesting well into my second helping of biscuits and fried pork breakfast. Look for both Jahmy Gibbs and David Montgomery to have solid games, but Amon-Ra St. Brown is going to go ballistic. Sam LaPorta is approaching must-start status as well. The Packers don’t have many guys I can trust, maybe except for Jayden Reed.
Dallas Liar’s Club
Maybe it’s the reticent Cowboys fan in me, but I still don’t trust the team to show up and play good football every week. This game versus the Commanders worries me. I’m on the ledge trying to assure myself that Dallas will take care of business and put the game away early, but the fear of the flat game is dimming that light ever so slightly.
Dak Prescott and CeeDee Lamb have found a really potent connection in recent weeks and will be rolling right into one of the league’s worst pass defenses. Tony Pollard finally shed the touchdown albatross last week and might be primed to finally erupt. The Dallas defense has their first look at Sam Howell this season and must be salivating at his propensity to take sacks and occasional flippancy with ball security. This is another game with a large spread that could very well stay close because of the divisional familiarity.
Gold Rush Gambit
The 49ers have returned from a slight hiccup to flex their muscles as one of the league’s best teams. The Bay Boys are winning with offense for a change. Kyle Shanahan is actually having one of his best seasons as a head coach this year, pushing the team through adversity to come out the other side even scarier than before. They take on the Seahawks on Thursday night in a game teeming with fantasy talent, starting with our RB1 Christian McCaffrey. CMC is in line for a massive game. The Niners will need exactly that to hold serve atop the NFC West.
Geno Smith is tending to a sore elbow but is expected to give it a go against the ferocious San Francisco defense. Zach Charbonnet will be a lead dog of sorts without Kenneth Walker in the fold. Look for Jaxon Smith-Njigba to have a strong game underneath the 49ers zone coverage and hope that Smith can push the ball deep to DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett. Otherwise this one could get ugly.
Will the Real Joe Brady Please Stand Up?
It took one game for everyone to confirm that Ken Dorsey wasn’t doing a very good job. Former LSU and Carolina Panthers offensive coordinator Joe Brady had the Buffalo Bills offense back in their explosive groove last week. Josh Allen had easier decisions, while James Cook ran a more diverse route tree to get him into mismatches in space. Stefon Diggs was more jovial, while Khalil Shakir and Dalton Kincaid each stepped up their game. The 6-5 Bills travel to Philadelphia this week after their resounding beatdown of the Jets.
Philly just outlasted Kansas City in the mists of Western Missouri and stay in the hot pan against a very game Buffalo team. Jalen Hurts salvaged a good fantasy performance with two rushing touchdowns, but AJ Brown offered a rare dud. Expect the bounce-back to be gargantuan. Buffalo’s defensive backfield is riddled with injuries and they don’t get nearly as much pressure as Chris Jones and the Chiefs up front. D’Andre Swift needs to be fed. He looks like an All-Pro every time he touches the ball and it warms my heart that he ended up in such a great situation after years of misuse in Detroit.
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