Judging by social media reactions, fantasy football managers might run out of ligaments and muscles to donate to injured NFL stars by the end of the season. I’ve already pledged my knee to Nick Chubb, my shoulder to Anthony Richardson, and now my hamstring to Justin Jefferson. Others have offered their toe to Chris Olave and even abdominal and pelvic muscles to Amon-Ra St. Brown.
Unfortunately, medical technology has not yet caught up to exasperated football fans, despite their philanthropic intentions. I don’t need my Achilles tendon; I sit in an office chair all day. Make it happen, scientists! One of my most alcoholic relatives can’t just present Colorado Buffaloes star Travis Hunter his cirrhotic liver, even though it’s admirable to see a grown man show so much sympathy for another.
Injuries have really taken a heartbreaking toll on some of our fantasy stars in 2023. Those are the breaks, kid. As frustrating as it is, luck plays a large part in fantasy football. We must also simultaneously do our best to roll with the punches and make chicken salad out of chicken droppings.
Week 6 only features two teams on bye (Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers) and marks the end of the season’s first trimester. Most teams are experiencing attrition at pivotal positions and the value of depth is certainly heightened from here onward. Most of the important storylines have thankfully retreated from pop culture fusion and are more centered on players thrust into action in the Shaq-sized shoes of injured superstars. Let’s all line up and donate to the Orthopedic Society like Rudy’s teammates as we dive into this week’s top fantasy football talking points.
Fantasy Football Storylines (Week 6)
Blunt Force Trauma to the SKOL
Alright, I’ll say it. Losing Justin Jefferson for at least a month is not ideal. Naturally, this happens the same year I “lucked into” quite a few chances to pick first overall in fantasy football drafts. A great many of these turned into an exciting knee-jerk auto pick of Justin Jefferson. Now I’m in scramble mode trying to fill the giant hole in my heart (and roster) for the next four weeks or more.
KJ Osborn slots into Jefferson’s role, which is equally painful to think about in terms of falloff. The rookie Jordan Addison remains at flanker and will need to take yet another step forward for his team. Tanking and Kirk Cousins trade rumors are floating around with this 1-4 team, but I prefer to live in the moment at hand. The Vikings travel to face the Bears on Sunday. Chicago’s defense has been awful this year. Look for Minnesota to score just fine without their best player, but potentially still lose to Justin Fields‘ offense on the rise.
Mike McDaniel Racing Team Blows a Tire
The Miami 4×100 meter relay team lost one of its legs this week. Fleet-footed rookie De’Von Achane (pronounced A-Chan) has been placed on injured reserve with a knee injury. This leaves the backfield to galloping veteran Raheem “Must-Start” Mostert and a litany of lesser backs. Jeff Wilson, Salvon Ahmed, and Chris Brooks just don’t strike fear into opposing defenses like Achane and Mostert, who have spearheaded the top rushing attack in the NFL. Miami also leads the league in passing yards
The Dolphins host the winless Panthers this week, so Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle will be on slate-breaker watch. Tua Tagovailoa has returned to last season’s stellar form. Losing a guy who averages 11 yards per carry isn’t good, but the Dolphins are equipped to get through the next four games relatively unfazed.
Shoving Brothers and Pushing Tushes; Opponents Kelly Green with Success Envy
If I heard correctly, the Eagles have converted 92% of their QB sneak plays since the beginning of last season. The crazy part is that they’re not even sneaky about it…at all. Whether you call it the “Tush Push” or “Brotherly Shove,” or if you’re a normal person who can avoid making others cringe, Jalen Hurts and his dominant offensive line should be commended for their success.
The only detractors to the legality of the rugby scrum sneak seem to be those who are simply jealous that they can’t pull it off as well as Philly does. The Birds have also done well to feature Dallas Goedert recently as a primary receiving option alongside AJ Brown and DeVonta Smith. D’Andre Swift has given Nick Sirianni’s running game an explosive spark that it hadn’t shown in years.
The unbeaten Eagles head to the Meadowlands to face the 2-3 Jets, who have treaded water this season with Zach Wilson at the helm. The Jets have one of the league’s best defensive fronts, so you’ll want a front row seat to see them try and stop Hurts in short yardage situations.
Jerry Jonesing Against Chargering in a Race to Need the Heimlich
One difference between the Cowboys and Chargers is how they lose. Los Angeles seems to quiet quit once they build a lead and pilfer it away at the buzzer. Justin Herbert has been dealing. He has quietly overcome losing Mike Williams for the season and Austin Ekeler the last four games. Unfortunately, suspect coaching and defensive lapses have cost the Bolts a couple games already this season. Ekeler’s return to play on Monday night couldn’t come soon enough.
Dallas, on the other hand, loses in games where they seemingly leave their best on the bus and get blown off the field by good and bad teams alike. The Cowboys are fresh off the bludgeoning they incurred at the hands of the 49ers in Week 5 and we’ll get a glimpse at their fight or flight response. The Cowboys were fortunate to draw a putrid Patriots team in Week 4 after their embarrassing loss to the Cardinals in Week 3, so this will be the real test. The Chargers are a talented football team and will be able to match America’s Team punch for punch. I expect plenty of drama in this game, regardless of the outcome.
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