As much as we were dreading Week 7, it wasn’t that bad, right? It turns out that everyone, including your opponent, was having trouble filling a starting lineup with injuries and six teams on bye. Week 8 will be a breeze by comparison. Not a single team has the week off, so I guess we’ll just whine and moan about injuries and call coaches who frustrate us mean names.
I find that starting and sitting the right players when every team is active can be an ordeal in itself. I just know I’m going to have three guys go absolutely ballistic on my bench this week. It has been foretold. The best advice I can pass along comes from the wise one Matthew Berry: “Always start your studs.” Remember that when tempted to tinker yourself into the doldrums. Harness good, block bad. That one is from Kevin Nealon in Happy Gilmore. Go touch some grass and grab ahold of my hand; we’re going to protest Arthur Smith’s press conference.
Fantasy Football Storylines (Week 8)
Farty Artie, Not So Smarty
Torches and pitchforks? Nay, it’s the stocks for Arthur Smith. The community is fed up with his narcissistic condescension. Some have theorized that he’s just trolling and is actually some kind of super genius, since the Falcons keep winning. Yeah, they’re winning in spite of their coach. Everyone thought the Jets were a QB away from championship contention. The Falcons are a QB and a head coach short of a gaping window of opportunity with such a young and talented roster.
Bijan Robinson “didn’t feel great” on Sunday after warmups. Smith still put him in the game to run right into the monolithic Vita Vea for a three-yard run play in what the surly coach calls “two-minute offense.” Super genius? I think not. If Smith “didn’t want to take any chances,” then why didn’t he scratch him before the game and let the prodigal rookie RB watch in street clothes, out of harm’s way? It isn’t just the fantasy football folks he so despises who are upset; the NFL is investigating Smith for violating the injury reporting rules. I hope they go full Draconian to wipe that ridiculous mustache off his smug face.
Kelly Green Starter (Full Metal) Jacket
The Eagles are the best team in the NFL. They dismantled the Miami Dolphins in Week 7 and, at times during that game, looked like they were playing with their food. In addition to an offense that is rounding into midseason form, the defense was gifted another Pro Bowl-caliber player. It was yet another Titans plunder, courtesy of Eagles’ general manager Howie Roseman. Kevin Byard, one of the best slot corners in the game, now bolsters a secondary that was a glaring weakness for the defending NFC champs.
That offense, though. I love the Cowboys, but I’m having thoughts of infidelity watching Philly play ball. Jalen Hurts is outstanding. The offensive line is poetry etched into a priceless piece of art. AJ Brown and DeVonta Smith are unguardable on the outside, while Dallas Goedert fills the voids like buttery syrup in the dimples of a waffle. I haven’t even mentioned D’Andre Swift, who is finally seeing the types of looks he was never afforded in Detroit. As they stand, the Eagles will be great for a good while. You might want to add some to your fantasy rosters posthaste.
Landing Defenses in the Poe House
There are a handful of fantasy analysts out there who truly inspire me to push myself and be the best I can be. One of those is Lawrence Jackson from NBC Rotoworld; Lawrence is a great person and works as hard as anyone in our industry. He and I were among a very tiny sect who predicted Lamar Jackson would be the QB1 in fantasy football this season. He even got a shoutout on Football Night in America from his colleague Matthew Berry after foretelling Lamar’s massive Week 7 performance as a “bold prediction.” Take a bow, Lawrence. You nailed it, but neither of us would consider your call that spicy.
The Ravens’ offense under Todd Monken is ramping up like Dr. Frankenstein’s machine during a lightning storm. Lamar has found a rhythm with Mark Andrews and star rookie Zay Flowers. Rashod Bateman and Odell Beckham haven’t even gotten going yet, but both are talented enough to elevate this unit to yet another lofty height. Defenses are breathless from chasing the snappy signal caller across the field. The Ravens’ defense has also done a marvelous job of giving the ball back to the offense. I find it ironic and funny how John Harbaugh can be prickly with the media, but still like him because he wins by getting the ball to his best players.
Faithful to the Decay
What if I told you (shoutout to Tom Rinaldi) that Kyle Shanahan will never win a Super Bowl as a head coach? Would you disagree with me? Since this is assumedly a safe place, I’ll double down and say Brock Purdy is the reason it will never happen with the 49ers. Shanahan is a planner. He is a schemer, and he is one of the best. What he is not, however, is an in-game adjustor, nor a developer. He has been searching for a puzzle piece in a bowl of oatmeal since his days with Matt Ryan and Julio Jones in Atlanta. Purdy fits pretty well, but is far from perfect.
Now, following consecutive losses on the heels of “undefeated” murmurs, Purdy is likely to miss Week 8 from a concussion. Noted paranormal enthusiast Sam Darnold is slated to step in and show us what a system QB really looks like. Deebo Samuel is still out, while Trent Williams is questionable. The best we can hope for is some residual telepathy with Christian McCaffrey from their dark days in Carolina together.
The vaunted Niners defense registered zero sacks on Kirk Cousins on Monday and had difficulty tackling Cam Akers in the run game. This is a highly flawed team who will shine in fantasy, despite being a paper tiger of a team that will again get run off the field come playoff time.
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