My apologies for last week’s Jahmyr Gibbs prediction. I received some information that I took into publishing without corroborating it with other sources. He was inactive for Week 6 and sadly, David Montgomery was also injured in a game that was a clear smash spot for a RB. Onward and upward, we resume our quest to predict the very improbable and eat those Ws like Jameis.
The end of summer into the blush of autumn is a glorious time for a hot sauce maker. The best peppers are harvested toward the end of summer, but sometimes I’ll let a few just dry out on the vine. Those September habaneros just hit different. My most recent batch of HotBox Gourmet Hot Sauce (buy here) was one of the hottest ever bottled and even drew an exasperated whine from a coworker who “can handle anything.” With a sadistic sneer and hunched cackle, my energy for this column has been stirred anew.
Jakobi Meyers fell just shy of WR1 territory last week in a revenge game against the Patriots, but it might have been the most hyped I’ve been about a Raiders touchdown since Bo Jackson met the Boz. Getting spicy this week shouldn’t be difficult. Every fantasy manager is befuddled with impossibly difficult lineup decisions, with all the injuries and six teams on a bye. I still dug in deep into my bag of tricks and tremendously spicy imaginations to bring you a memorable batch for Week 7.
Fantasy Football Hot Takes
Arthur Smith Remembers He Has a Prodigy at RB; Bijan Robinson Scores 30 PPR Points and Falcons Sink the Pirate Ship by a Touchdown
I tried to temper everyone’s expectations this summer. Plenty of draft analysts projected Bijan Robinson to Atlanta and I was much less excited than the fantasy community at large. Early returns are that my suspicions were warranted. Robinson (and his monstrous upside) have been capped by his head coach.
Artie is public enemy number one for a large sect of the fantasy football neighborhood, but he does watch tape. His recent bump in favorable looks for Kyle Pitts would suggest he’s as disgusted as we are with Bijan’s usage. Tyler Allgeier is a fine runner. He’s also nowhere near as good at anything as the rookie first-round pick. The Bucs are a cute story, but Atlanta has the ability to bend the line of scrimmage at their will. This will be Bijan’s season-defining game.
Deshaun Watson Returns from Paid Time Off to Sling Two Touchdowns to Elijah Moore; Browns Keep Colts Out of the End Zone
You’ll never convince me that Deshaun Watson did anything but pull a Ferris Bueller when he saw Fred Warner and the 49ers on the schedule. His ailing shoulder miraculously healed in time for a full Wednesday practice leading up to a date with the Colts and their abysmal pass defense. The part that makes me belly laugh is that Cleveland’s biggest win this year came with no credit due to Watson.
For fantasy, we tolerate Deshaun’s baggage when he helps us win. Amari Cooper and Elijah Moore weren’t going to see their ceiling performance with PJ Walker at the helm. The Indianapolis secondary is slow, especially in base nickel packages where they employ a slot corner. Moore is primed for a get-right game with his QB using the short and intermediate timing routes to get back into rhythm.
Minshew Mania is a farce. He has looked bad this season and the league’s best defense will expose the dark underbelly of this extremely shallow Colts roster.
Chargers Rebound from Home Loss; Justin Herbert is a Top-5 QB and Passes for 400 Yards in Upset Win at Arrowhead
I didn’t think Justin Herbert was that bad against the Cowboys on Monday night. He was often under duress, which figures against a pass rush as ferocious as that. The Chiefs’ defense has been the strength of the team, outshining Patrick Mahomes and the Andy Reid offense on the way to a 5-1 start. The Bears, Jets, Jeffersonless Vikings, and Broncos don’t instill as much fear as a Chargers offense that failed to reach 20 points for the first time last week. Herbert is going to crack them deep early and often.
The Chargers’ pass rush has been a story worthy of more fanfare. Khalil Mack and Joey Bosa are monsters off the edge. Mahomes needs to be able to run around with time to allow his horrendous receiving corps time to get open. Except for Travis Kelce, Patrick can’t trust any of these guys to be the hot read. This will be a close, high-scoring game. The deciding play will be a Mahomes turnover instead of the predictable “Chargering.”
Jaylen Waddle Scores More PPR Points Than Tyreek Hill; Both Crack 100 Yards and Score a Touchdown in Miami’s Dominant 10-Point Win Over Host Philadelphia
The Eagles are really good. They also got exposed last week. The Jets made Xerxes bleed to show the world Philadelphia is human. Even the outstanding Buffalo defense couldn’t keep Miami under 20 points. The Eagles are in the bottom rung of pass defenses this season. It’s perfect timing for this era’s Greatest Show on Turf to burn rubber at the Linc.
Tua Tagovailoa has been stellar this season and deserves a ton of credit for their record-setting production. Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle form the narrowest (and most unstoppable) passing attack in the NFL. Where I can see the Eagles taking the ground attack away from Mike McDaniel, he is more than willing to throw on every play to exploit a huge matchup advantage on the playing field. I’ll even toss out a final score. Miami 35, Philadelphia 24. Manifest it.
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