At the beginning of Tool’s legendary track “Lateralus,” drummer Danny Carey creates a murmur like a fetal heartbeat during an ultrasound. It starts so faint that you need good headphones to pick it up, then it builds and strengthens alongside bassist Justin Chancellor’s rhythm until it hits a full crescendo, and Chancellor slams into a bass riff that shakes the listener to their soul. The song is widely interpreted to signify birth into growth, which is exactly how I feel about the long-awaited arrival of the 2023 NFL season.

The heartbeat has steadily ramped up for what seems like months. Tension is at the breaking point, like the moment before an archer suspends their breath and releases the bowstring. Thursday’s kickoff game between Detroit and Kansas City will take the edge off. The Sunday slate has more anxious anticipation than an unchaperoned prom night. The pontification and straw-grasping will finally settle down. Football season is back to remind us that even the most sensible predictions will be instantly dashed in the donnybrook. Stories will be told, and hearts will be broken.

Fantasy managers have been sitting on their rosters for a while now, some of them for many months (guilty). Sifting through the drivel from beat writers is exhausting. Coaches have largely deflected and lied about their plans for certain players. They call it a competitive advantage. I’ll read between the lines and translate that into “wait and see.” My toe is tapping, and my fingernails have been chewed to nubs.

Here are the storylines my heart can’t wait to unfold

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Week 1 Fantasy Football Storylines (2023)

Preseason Darlings Versus Chiefs Without Kelce

The NFC North is a pretty tough division these days. It hasn’t stopped any of the talking heads from sticking their necks out for the team that hasn’t held the crown since 1992. Dan Campbell’s Lions will start their kneecap-biting with the defending Super Bowl champions. An in-practice injury has Travis Kelce on the mend, leaving a gigantic question mark around Patrick Mahomes‘ passing game.

Detroit has some new weapons on the field who have been touted all offseason. Jahmyr Gibbs and Sam LaPorta join established vets Amon-Ra St. Brown and David Montgomery in a Jared Goff-led offense run by superstar offensive coordinator Ben Johnson. Phew! Everyone will be looking to see if the Lions can upset the champs and get the hype train really rolling.

Kansas City seems to always defy the odds on offense, regardless of who is running routes for Mahomes. Their defense is also extremely underrated. My expectation is more heavy personnel with the remaining TEs, running more powers through Isiah Pacheco with play action off of it. We haven’t seen a Kelce injury since 2014, so it’s anyone’s guess as to what Mahomes can do without him in primetime.

Love Tries to Conquer All on Fields’ Field

Green Bay fans have enjoyed the exploits of three legendary QBs whose careers have nearly spanned the franchise’s existence during the Super Bowl era. Jordan Love sports first-round draft capital but enters his fourth NFL season with barely any starting experience. His receiving corps is already dealing with a few injuries, so what will we get from the Utah State alum in his 2023 debut? The Bears have bolstered their defense on paper, but it’s anyone’s guess as to whether or not they will be any good on that side of the ball.

The Chicago offense is going to be good. Justin Fields is entering his third season and his very first with a decent offensive line and receiving corps. This team ran the ball heavily last season and to great success. With that foundation, I expect more explosive pass plays down the field on play-action this season. The Packers defense will have their hands full on Sunday. I’m looking forward to seeing all the new weapons on the field for both teams, such as Roschon Johnson and Jayden Reed. DJ Moore‘s debut for the Bears is also eagerly anticipated.

Scoring Bonanza at SoFi

Two of my favorite teams to watch draw a Sunday matinee in LA. The Dolphins and Chargers each figure to have incendiary offenses this season, and neither defense is considered elite. If betting on this game, smash whatever number to go over. Thanks to a lethal Mike McDaniel offense featuring Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle, Tua Tagovailoa was among the most efficient QBs in the game last season when healthy. Sprinkle in another track star, De’Von Achane, and Miami has an Olympic track team.

Justin Herbert has compiled one of the most illustrious careers through three seasons in NFL history. He did that despite painfully conservative coaching and various injuries along his offensive line. Enter Kellen Moore, who brings verticality and tempo to a QB who was yearning for those qualities in his own game to shine through. Austin Ekeler and Keenan Allen are the windshield wipers Herbert can rhythmically find at will. Mike Williams and rookie Quentin Johnston provide the big play potential down the rails and after the catch. This is the one game circled in red ink for fantasy football purposes in Week 1.

Dawson (Hard) Knox, Bills Take on Saleh’s Team at the Meadowlands

I have been an Aaron Rodgers fan since my Corning Union Cardinals beat his Pleasant Valley Vikings in Week 2 of his senior season in high school. His cousins rode the same bus to elementary school and were good friends. He followed in the great Butte Community College footsteps as Larry Allen on his way to Canton. I finally got to meet Aaron at a mutual friend’s house back in 2008. We shared a beer and laughed about how he was going to rip the hearts out of Cowboys fans like me for his entire career. He is a man of his word.

After all of those seasons in Green Bay, he is now taking over a New York Jets team that was truly “a decent QB away” from making noise last season. Some are already predicting the Jets to be the class of the AFC East, but the reigning division champs will have their say straight from the jump on Monday night. Rodgers’ two-headed monster at RB with Dalvin Cook and Breece Hall will be the focus of the offense, but watch out for a flurry of targets to future superstar WR Garrett Wilson.

The strength of the Jets is obviously Robert Saleh’s defense. The defensive line goes two shifts deep with scary pass rushers and run-stuffing monsters. The linebackers are fast and instinctual. New York has the best CB tandem in the AFC with D.J. Reed and Sauce Gardner. Buffalo’s offense will have their hands full in Week 1, but it never pays to doubt Josh Allen. He still has Stefon Diggs and Gabe Davis on the outside. The team also added Dalton Kincaid in the draft to augment what they do with Dawson Knox. James Cook will be the weapon of choice from the backfield and hopefully will have a greatly expanded piece of the pie. Week 1 has bookend games with a ton of firepower and fantasy interest.

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