Your fantasy season is a bust if you don’t win the title. That is the mindset every fantasy player should have if they want to win championships. Unfortunately, things happen, and sometimes you can’t win your league because of injuries and other factors. However, coming in last place should be your worst nightmare. Why are you even playing fantasy football if your league doesn’t have an embarrassing last-place punishment?
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Best Last-Place Punishments
Last-place punishments are a great way to have fun with your league mates. It’s also an excellent way to keep people from quitting the league once their team has been eliminated from the playoffs.
All last-place punishments should be fun and agreed upon by everyone in the league. It shouldn’t be illegal or cross a line anyone in your league isn’t comfortable doing. Duck-tapping the league’s last-place finisher to an interstate billboard as punishment sounds fun but is a little over the top.
However, last-place punishments are supposed to be embarrassing for the loser and fun for everyone. Yet, everyone should know where the line is between fun and over the top. While last place punishments should be fun and embarrassing, always consider the other option. A great last-place punishment can also be helping out someone in need.
Many fantasy league winners will donate part of their winnings to charity. Sometimes they donate the winnings to the favorite charity of the best player on their fantasy squad. Others will donate to big-name charities like St. Jude Research Hospital, my favorite.
I recommend that the last-place finisher donate the amount for the league’s entry fee to St. Jude Research Hospital. Then they perform one of the following three punishments.
Drinks on the Loser
Everybody loves a free drink. So why not a free night of drinking? Do you want a surefire way to make sure everyone competes till the final week of the fantasy season?
Loser has to buy drinks for everyone in the league and can’t drink themselves. Not only does the loser have to watch the bar tab go through the roof, but they also have to be the designated driver for everyone in the league.
Dinner is another option if someone doesn’t drink or isn’t old enough. Each league can decide whether drinks or food is the better option. However, the only requirement is that everyone in the establishment has to know why your league mate sucks at fantasy football.
Table for One
Everyone loves date night. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first date, you’ve been with someone for months, or been married for 20 years. Well, the one exception is when your date isn’t real.
The league winner gets to pick the restaurant where the league loser will have to dine. Ideally, you should select somewhere where a friend works as a server. If you don’t have a friend to help you out, be ready to bribe the employees.
The loser needs to ask for a table of two. They also need to explain that their date is running late. After the server leaves the table, place a full-size blow-up doll in the seat next to the league loser. Be sure to pick out the most eye-catching and ugly doll possible. This is only funny if everyone else in the restaurant ends up staring at your league mate.
During the entire date, the loser must pretend the doll is real. They need to treat it like a date, talk to them and order dinner. Hopefully, the server will play along and make the embarrassment even worse.
Maybe add to the embarrassment by paying the restaurant staff to sing Happy Birthday to the league loser. That way, everyone in the establishment turns and looks. More importantly, video evidence is needed! Record the event and play it for everyone at the following year’s draft party.
40 Yard Dash of Misery
Some fantasy football leagues determine the draft order by having all the league mates run a modified 40-yard dash. Instead of running 40 straight yards, everyone has to go through a wild obstacle course. While others might find that idea idiotic, everyone loves the NFL Combine.
NFL Network’s Rich Eisen does an excellent job raising money for St. Jude Research Hospital by running the 40-yard dash. Furthermore, Fans submit their videos of them running the 40-yard dash, and it’s an overall great job by Eisen and his team.
However, it’s time to turn this awesome event into a nightmare for the league loser. The loser must run a 40-yard dash. However, this isn’t your typical 40-yard run.
The rest of the league can throw things at the loser during the run. Now, you don’t want to hurt your league mate, so don’t throw rocks, folding chairs, or in-laws at the league loser. However, tomatoes and other fruit are perfect.
For an added bonus, you can have the league loser run the 40-yard dash in as little clothing as possible. Furthermore, making the loser run the 40 yards in a public place will add to the fun and embarrassment. Also, get it all on video for everyone on social media. Maybe even send it to Rich Eisen and see if it lands on NFL Network for the entire world to see.
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Mike Fanelli is a featured writer at FantasyPros. For more from Mike, check out his archive and follow him @Mike_NFL2.
