Week 1 of the 2022 NFL season caught a nice buzz and scratched the itch we all had for football to return. Week 2 was absolutely belligerent.

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Teams with a lead of 13 points or more inside of two minutes left had won more than 700 games in a row…until the Jets “took advantage” of Nick Chubb‘s third touchdown of the day with a comeback win orchestrated by none other than the Delaware Blue Hen, Joe Flacco. Flacco is now third in the NFL in passing yards through two games, behind Tua Tagovailoa and Carson Wentz. Go figure. Trey Lance tragically broke his ankle at the worst possible time for his development as a starting QB in the NFL, leaving the steering wheel in Jimmy Garoppolo‘s beautiful-yet-inept hands once again. Still, these aren’t even the most important fantasy football storylines heading into Week 3. If the pattern continues, it won’t be just the Packers who celebrate with an ayahuasca touchdown dance.

I can’t wait for the 49ers to take Jimmy G to the Super Bowl (again) and for Jimmy to prevent them from winning it (again).

— Bo McBrayer; ? of ? (@Bo_McBigTime) September 20, 2022

Dade County Track Meet

The Miami Dolphins, under new head coach Mike McDaniel, are for real. I was excited to see him get a head coaching gig and over the moon that he was able to combine the game-breaking talents of Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle. For some reason, the biggest question marks surrounded a guy who singlehandedly led his Alabama team to a national championship as a freshman and entered the league on a broken hip with no weapons, offensive line, or competent coaches.

None of the criticism ever added up in my mind. There is no doubt whatsoever that this offense is capable of leading the NFL in scoring (they’re fourth at the moment). Tua Tagovailoa tossed four of his six touchdown passes in the fourth quarter to ruin an equally impressive performance by Lamar Jackson. Hill and Waddle eviscerated the tattered Baltimore secondary, becoming the first duo of receivers in NFL history to compile 10 or more receptions for 150 receiving yards and two touchdowns apiece in the same game.

The Buffalo Bills await them in Week 3, easily the most daunting test for the upstart ‘Phins. Buffalo is the consensus best team in the NFL, sporting the league’s top-scoring offense and a rugged defense filled with star players. If Miami can somehow pull the upset, especially through their dynamic offense, everyone in the fantasy football community will finally be up to speed with some of the sharper minds who have been apprised of the situation since the preseason.

Tua Tagovailoa stat prediction w/ out using numbers ? pic.twitter.com/OX3aAlO5dB

— Lawrence Jackson Jr. ? Fantasy Football Lord (@LordDontLose) June 16, 2022

Are the Bills the 2007 Patriots?

For all the deserved praise we can toss to the Miami Dolphins, we must acknowledge just how dominant the Buffalo Bills have been through two games. Not just two games, but two primetime games versus 2021 playoff teams, including the reigning Super Bowl champs in their yard on opening night. Buffalo didn’t just win, they dismantled their opponents by a combined score of 72-17. Josh Allen is still the most dominant force at QB in fantasy football, with a lethal combination of elite arm talent, intelligence, and mobility to go with his immense size. Stefon Diggs was solely responsible for seven losses in Week 2 for my fantasy teams. He has started on a torrid pace, reminiscent of his massive 2020 season upon arriving in western New York. Add in a healthy Gabe Davis, and this offense will be lethal all season. It sure reminds me of the shellacking that the 2007 Patriots dished out to the AFC East that season on the wings of Tom Brady and Randy Moss, along with a suffocating defense.

That 18-1 season, if repeated by the 2022 Bills, would be a poetic tragedy considering the franchise’s history with the Big Game. What sort of thrashing would Buffalo have dealt the Cincinnati Bengals if they didn’t succumb to a coin toss in the Divisional Round? After they crushed the Rams in Week 1, the knee-jerk reaction was to crown them already. Their date in Miami with the red-hot Dolphins in Week 3 will be must-see television. It will also clarify just how close (or how distant) the rest of the division is to the mighty Bills. It would be a mistake to expect this Bills team to be an underdog at any point this season. I’m already wondering whether they have what it takes to run the table.

Lamar Jackson of Old, but Better!

It was a great time to be a football fan in 2019. COVID wasn’t a thing yet. Slant Boy was catching all the passes. The 49ers were dragging their handsome liability to the Super Bowl by calling all run plays. Lamar Jackson was scoring fantasy points at a ridiculous clip. Three years later, the parallels are uncanny. Michael Thomas is finally back on the field. Jimmy G is getting credit for “winning games” again. Lamar Jackson just put up nearly 50 fantasy points in a loss to the Dolphins. The Ravens’ future vault-breaking QB is beefed up and dropping accurate dimes all over the NFL this season. He and his mother are shrewd negotiators. They know that time and dimes make the dollar bills stack ever higher. Not only is Jackson helping fantasy teams crush their opponents, he remains one of the most electrifying football players to ever lace them up.

God help those idiots that snicker the “pretty good for a running back” jokes when the Louisville legend drops 300 yards passing and 100 yards rushing on their favorite team. Folks like me that have been watching the game for their entire lives are marveling in appreciation that they get to witness this unprecedented greatness. Truth be told, we don’t deserve the light-hearted and humble kid from South Florida. He has only exuded grace, on and off the field. I hope the chapters that have yet to be written are just as good as the ones we’ve already excitedly lived and relived.

Sprinkles are for Winners; Trying is for Losers

Bad football coaches share a lot of common traits with the worst people you know. Everyone is aware of someone who talks in a condescending tone about how they are not to blame for their shortcomings. Many of them landed in a position of power and trust they never deserved in the first place. Along the same lines as Adam Gase and Matt Nagy, Arthur Smith drives me insane. He was asked a very simple (non-fantasy) question about the offense’s lack of emphasis on getting Kyle Pitts more looks in the passing game. He replied with, “This isn’t fantasy football, we’re just trying to win.” Hello?! You have a 6-foot-6, 240-pound unicorn with blazing speed and legendary catch radius, and your WINLESS bleeping team has only targeted him 10 times in two games. Miss me with that “fantasy managers don’t know ball” bull excrement.

All the way back to Pop Warner, it was clear who the best players were. Guess what? Any coach who could rub two brain cells together and spit chaw into a Gatorade bottle could also draw up an Encyclopedia Britannica worth of plays for those players. Why? tO wIn ThE gAmE, dummy! Coach Smith is already making my hair fall out with his combination of arrogance and incompetence. He is blessed with a generational player and now has had two offseasons to draw up a multitude of matchup-crushing schemes. Instead, he is planting a giant Sequoia in the Gobi desert. Matthew Berry and I (and everyone else) watching the Falcons “try to win” just want to see the big dog eat. Maybe we might stop calling the coach mean names if he would just quit with the “I’m not an idiot (like all of you)” routine and actually win games by scoring more points than the opponent. You don’t need running shoes to complete a marathon, but it sure bleeping helps!

All I am asking is to give Kyle Pitts a CHANCE! #FFHappyHour @peacock @ConnorJRogers pic.twitter.com/TVjbh8yaRA

— Matthew Berry (@MatthewBerryTMR) September 19, 2022