While most fantasy football seasons ultimately fall short of the top prize, every manager (save one) can enjoy the gruesome schadenfreude of watching the last place finisher suffer a punishment. For every league out there that’s looking for that perfect punishment for finishing last in your fantasy league, the following options are for you.
If you’re curious about last year’s recommended last place punishments, please check out this article on 2021’s Top 5 Last Place Punishments.
Without further ado, these are my personal favorite punishments for 2022.
9. The Perpetual Punishment Trophy
There’s a place where happiness and fantasy football meet, and it’s called Trophy Smack. They offer some ridiculously customizable options for creating a sacred (and horrific) relic that is passed from loser to loser. They also offer a number of fun and affordable items that can be used to shame the worst of the worst. All the way from loser ribbons to loser mirrors and even to wearable toilet seats. If you’re looking for a reusable punishment for your league, look no further than Trophy Smack.
8. Jersey Wedding
Not everyone loves weddings, but absolutely no one will love when you’re forced to wear a football jersey to the next wedding you attend. This one is pretty simple. The loser is forced to wear a league-approved jersey to the next wedding they attend. They must take photographic evidence and they must suffer.
7. Solo WNBA Game
I saw this punishment on Twitter last year and felt the base idea was worth considering. The punishment is effectively in the name, but please note that WNBA can be swapped with another sport or team that you simply don’t follow that closely. Personally, I follow the WNBA as a casual fan, but it seems clear to me that the Venn diagram of WNBA fans and fantasy sports last place finishers may not overlap. Here’s the idea: the last place finisher in your league must go all out for a WNBA game. That means they must purchase a ticket to a nearby WNBA game, go alone, pick a team to root for, buy merchandise, get body paint, and text updates to the rest of the league.
6. 24 Hours in a Waffle House
This punishment has been around for a few years, so I can’t rank it too high. Still, it’s so good. The last place finisher in your league has to spend 24 hours in a Waffle House. They can have one hour knocked off their total time for every waffle they eat. That’s it. That’s the punishment. It may sound tame, but this sort of thing really changes a person.
5. Brown Bag Season’s Greetings Cards
This is a callback from one of my favorite punishment ideas from last season. The loser must take a series of professional quality family photos (or solo photos) a have them turned into Season’s Greetings cards, which are then sent out to everyone in the league. Oh… here’s the catch: the loser must be wearing a brown bag over their head for the photos.
4. CAMEO Sympathy
There’s a company called CAMEO that allows you to pay a celebrity for a personalized video greeting. The cost varies per celebrity. With this punishment, the league will set a dollar amount before the season. At the end of the season, the last place finisher will have to order a celebrity cameo video for the predetermined dollar amount. Here’s the catch: they must tell the celebrity that they “need some encouragement for overcoming a persistent full-body rash.”
3. Not Jake From State Farm
In this punishment, the last place finisher must dress like Jake from State Farm for all of Super Bowl Week, including going to any parties while dressed in khakis and a red polo. Additionally, any time a league-mate is nearby and says, “like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,” the last place finisher must do that league-mate’s bidding. Bonus points if you can get into an argument with someone dressed like Flo from Progressive.
2. Bud Light Lime Time
If you’re the kind of league that truly wants their last place finisher to feel unadulterated pain, this is for you. The loser must keep a 12 pack of lukewarm Bud Light Lime. Any time a leaguemate texts them, “it’s Lime Time,” the last place finisher will have to record a video where they drink one of those nasty cans of misery. Every leaguemate gets to make them drink one of the 12 pack, but they can make them do so at any time during the offseason.
1. Best Buy Guy
My favorite punishment for the 2022 season is called, “Best Buy Guy.” Here are the rules: the last place finisher must wear black pants, a blue polo and a nametag in a Best Buy store. They must spend one hour in the store. While inside, they must be the best employee possible. That means they need to greet every customer they see by saying, “Welcome to Best Buy, we’re so glad you’re here.” There’s an added bonus here, so it’s not all just suffering needlessly: if the loser gets kicked out of the Best Buy, they automatically get the first pick next season (if it’s a redraft league).
That’s it! Those are my favorite punishments for last place finishers in the 2022 fantasy football season. Make sure you let me know what you think at @timmy_the_metz on twitter, and tell me which punishments you think should be on the list for next season.
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Tim Metzler is a featured writer at FantasyPros, known for multiple article series, including 5 Under 25, Expert Consensus Rantings, his in-season Running Diary and his dynasty IDP rankings. For more from Tim, check out his archive and follow him @Timmy_The_Metz.
